Read the Modern Pastor’s Version

There was a certain rich man who had a steward in charge of his household. The steward was accused of wasting his master's goods, so he called him in for an accounting.

"How is it that I hear this about you?" the rich man asked. "Give me an account of your management, because you can no longer be my steward." The steward thought to himself, "What shall I do? My lord is taking away my position as manager. I'm unable to dig and begging would be beneath me." He was determined not to end up on the streets.

So he came up with a plan. When he was dismissed from his role, they might take him in as one of their own. He called each of his master's debtors to him and asked, "How much do you owe your master?" One of them replied, "A hundred measures of oil." The steward told him to take his bill and write fifty. Another debtor owed a hundred measures of wheat, so the steward instructed him to write eighty.

His master commended the dishonest manager for being shrewd: after all, people who are worldly are often more resourceful than those who trust in God. The parable concludes with this advice: "Make friends with unrighteous wealth." Those who can be trusted with small things will also be trusted with greater responsibilities.

Conversely, if you cannot manage what belongs to someone else, how can anyone entrust you with your own affairs? If you are not faithful in handling what is not yours, why should you expect to receive what rightfully belongs to you?

A servant can't serve two masters: they'll either resent one and love the other or hold on to one while despising the other. You cannot simultaneously serve God and accumulate wealth.

The Pharisees, who were enamored with wealth, heard all these teachings and mocked Jesus for them. They thought they could justify themselves in the eyes of others, but God sees right through their hypocrisy: what is highly valued among people is an abomination in his sight.

The law and prophets were authoritative until John's time; since then, God's message about the kingdom has been proclaimed, and many are eager to join it. It would be easier for heaven and earth to disappear than for a single stroke of a letter in the law to be erased.

Divorce is a serious matter: whoever divorces their spouse and marries someone else commits adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced person also commits adultery.

A wealthy man lived lavishly every day, dressed in purple and fine linen. At his gate lay a beggar named Lazarus, covered in sores, who longed to be fed with the scraps that fell from the rich man's table; dogs even came to lick his wounds.

Lazarus eventually died and was carried by angels into Abraham's bosom, while the wealthy man also passed away and was buried. In hell, he looked up and saw Abraham far off, with Lazarus in his arms. The wealthy man cried out for mercy, asking Abraham to send Lazarus to cool his tongue with water, as he was tormented by flames.

But Abraham replied, "Remember that during your lifetime you received good things, while Lazarus suffered evil things. Now he's comforted, and you're the one who's tormented." A great chasm now separates us from you.

The wealthy man begged Abraham to send Lazarus back to earth, explaining that he had five brothers who might be persuaded by someone who had come back from the dead. But Abraham said, "They have Moses and the prophets; let them listen to them."

"No, Father Abraham," the wealthy man replied, "but if someone were to return from the dead to them, they would change their ways." If they won't listen to Moses and the prophets, even a resurrection wouldn't convince them.